TL; DR; : Wife of 19 years wants an “open marriage” and reveals she never had a physical attraction to me.

My wife and I, M/45 and F/45, have been married for 19 years. Our marriage has been unique to be sure but has always been built on what I thought was love and respect. A couple of days ago my wife admitted to me that has never found me particularly attractive physically and wants an “open marriage” while still being married. She admitted that she has been emotionally attached to several men, though nothing physical has ever happened. Being devastated is under statement. I have always put my wife first and have never pined or chased after anyone else. I am torn. I find the thought of being a “cuckhold” very galling and having the love of my life say she was never physically attracted to me to be life shattering. On the flip side at least I don’t come home to an empty house and I do have some form of companionship, even if it is superficial. I don’t want to go back to the dating pool mess. I don’t know what to do. Do I become a dutiful cuckhold and “rich roommate” or do I get divorced and we go our separate ways amicably? don’t know if I have the strength for a divorce, I have no emotional support where I live. This is a boiled down post of a very complicated relationship but things are coming to head where I am being forced to make a decision. Any thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

My friend goes through one scumbag boyfriend after another, she has horrible luck with guys. The last few months she hasnt dated anyone, which is odd for her, she hates being alone. My husband is a wonderful man, you couldnt ask for anyone better. She knows how happy he makes me and how awesome he it. I think maybe she's developed feelings for him, after all the crap she's dated I can see why she'd fall for someone she knows is a nice guy. I dont think she would ever try to "take" him or anything like that, it's just a little unsettling.

Lately whenever she wants to come over she's been asking me if my husband is working, what time he gets off, stuff like that and she only ends up coming over if he is here or going to be here soon. That's a new thing, she's never cared before if he was here or not. She also seems to be trying to get him alone (I admit this could just be my head messing with me), asking me to go out and get random stuff or asking him to drive her somewhere when normally she'd ask me. She's also been dressing up when she comes over. I'm used to seeing her in sweats and a T shirt but the last few months every time she comes over she's dressed like she's going on a hot date.

You guys think this could just be in my head or is it something I should worry about?

Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes, I've been drinking.

Edit: oh and about a year ago we were all drunk and had a threesome.